


My Only Company

by littleyellowsundress



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: 1940s, But only a little, Drunken Confessions, Drunken Flirting, Drunken Shenanigans, Getting Together, Internalized Homophobia, Love Confessions, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Period-Typical Homophobia, Pre-Captain America: The First Avenger, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-World War II Bucky Barnes, Pre-World War II Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Stucky Bingo 2019
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2019-12-16
Packaged: 2021-02-26 18:40:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21813142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littleyellowsundress/pseuds/littleyellowsundress
Summary: Steve has had a crush on his best friend for years, but he knows that Bucky doesn't feel the same way. How could he?...But maybe he does, what with all that flirtingStucky Bingo prompt: 1940's
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 3
Kudos: 94
Collections: Stucky Bingo 2019





	My Only Company

**Author's Note:**

> This has been in the works for a forever and I finally finished it! I'm not entirely happy with it but I still like it :)  
> I finished this late yesterday night so sorry if it sounds a bit wonky 🌙  
> Takes place about 1940 or 1941
> 
> prompt: 1940's

The bar was packed tonight, singles and couples mingling together with one another, syncing in perfect harmony, dancing along side each other, some more so than others. The smooth tune of a song that he couldn't quite place the name of was filling the air, along side the smell of cheap alcohol and perfume.

Tonight had started off just as most do, Bucky had managed to catch another set of dames for them to take out dancing, only for the night together to run short after Buck had over heard one of the ladies saying something nasty about Steve and shooed them off, leaving just the two of them left to try and enjoy the rest of their night together.

Sometimes Steve would feel their comments get to him, make him want to go back home and bury his head in one of his sketch books and get lost in the work. But every time without fail Bucky would pull him back up out of his soured mood and get him back proper. If not with his own chipper tune, then his flirting definitely did him in.

Tonight was one of those nights, the ones where Steve was a little too bothered by the comments, and Bucky, being Bucky, had gotten them both drinks to try and lighten the mood. While Steve was still nursing his first, never one for being able to hold his beer (that fact showing in his he was already feeling it's affects when he hasn't even finished his first bottle), Bucky was on his third, and just starting to show for it.

His laugh was a little too light, his smile a little too open, all his attention squared on Steve.

While he loved rolling in the man's affection, he could always feel the eyes of on lookers, girls wanting to have a go at his friend and pull him away for a dance or two.

Tonight, she was a gal on the shorter side, yet still a little taller than Steve. He could feel her brown eyes piercing through them, looking for her chance to strike, whether that was to get Bucky to ask her for a dance or to subtly ask him herself, Steve couldn't tell. 

Out of the corner of his eye he could see her repeatedly adjust her hair, moving the soft brown curls to perfection every time Buck so much as tilted his head.

The suspense of waiting for Bucky to leave him was driving him crazy. 

Tired of waiting, Steve went ahead and brought it up himself.

"Hey," he said, making sure the other was paying attention before tilting his head in the girls direction, "you got a looker, better get movin' before she changes her mind."

Bucky didn't even spare her a glance before answering him, "Mm. She ain't lookin' at me."

"No?" 

"Nah." Came Bucky's tipsy drawl, "She's lookin' at you."

"Oh yeah? And how did ya make that?" 

"Cuz', what's not t' like?"

At that, Steve felt his cheeks flush, the shade traveling up to his ears.

He knew that Bucky didn't mean it, that he was drunk, but /god,/ did he love it anyway. He loved it whenever Bucky would drink a little too much, turn loose lipped, lay praise on Steve like he was the only person in the whole world that mattered. 

If only it transferred over to him being sober.

"Come on Buck, we both know she's got it for ya, go get your dance." Steve tried shooting him off.

"I got all the company I need right in fron'a me, don't need her dance."

Before Steve could try and convince him again, he was cut off.

"'M serious Stevie, she's better off findin' someone else, cuz there's no way I'm leaving my best guy."

And if he wasn't blushing before he definitely was now. 

"Best guy, huh?" Steve chuckled.

"Mhm. Love you Stevie, you'll always be my best guy." 

The complete and utter love in his best friends eyes hurt his heart, knowing that no matter what he might want be with Bucky, he couldn't have it.

But being in a crowded public place when Bucky said that scared him more than anything else.

Looking around anxiously, he whispered, "Buck, you can't just _say that,_ what if someone were ta' hear ya?" 

No matter his feelings, the implications of what Bucky had just said could literally mean life or death in these types of situations, and he wasn't going to put either of them in danger just for his own petty crush.

Bucky seemed to deflate at Steve's words, looking sheepish, "'M sorry, Stevie..."

Letting out a small sigh, he got up from his stool, standing next to their shared table against the far wall. "'S fine Buck, I ain't mad. Let's just go home, yeah?"

On their entire way home they had both snuck glances at one another, only looking away when the other glanced over at them, not wanting to risk starting anything out in the street. The silence that stretch between the two left him feeling hollow, guilt at how he reacted, especially since he _liked it_ when Bucky talked like that.

Once they finally returned to their shared Brooklyn apartment, Steve felt Bucky pull up close behind him and lay his head on his shoulder. Bucky's body was pressed against his back, his arms looped around his front, hugging him in his middle.  
their position made his stomach flutter, but he could tell that Bucky was upset, he could practically feel the sadness wafting off the man in waves. 

"Hey Buck, you alright?" He tilted his head back, trying to get a better look at his best friend.

The room was dead silent other than the subtle sounds of life continuing outside their home, traveling in through the open nooks, cracks, and crannies. Neither of them filling the quiet for a few minutes before the brunet spoke up, keeping his voice low and controlled.

"'M sorry, Stevie. Shouldn't 'a said that back at th' bar."

Turning in the man's hold, Steve looked up at him, laying his hands on Bucky's upper arms, reassuringly squeezing the muscle of his biceps. 

There was a deep frown maring his friends face, pulling out the slight stress wrinkles that formed in his eyes, even in his young age. Seeing his sadness up close made him feel only more guilty that he was the one to put that frown on his face.

"C'me on, Buck, you know I didn't mean it like that, was just worried about people listenin' in."

He brought his hand out, brushing his thumb against Bucky's cheek, trying to cheer him up any way he could think of without overstepping any boundaries.

Feeling drained, Steve was about to offer that they go ahead and lay down for sleep, when Bucky beat him to it, speaking first.

"Dance with me?" Came a quiet request. His voice was hesitant in a way that had Steve on edge, Bucky, ever so confident in himself in everything he did, should _never_ sound so defeated, especially not when it came to Steve.

Smiling softly, feeling the smile reach his eyes, Steve answered back, "Depends, you gonna turn on the radio or we just gonna shuffle here in silence?"

Jumping back, startled from the sudden movement in front him, he watched as the other practically sprinted and flicked their old beat up radio to life before finding one of Steve's favorite stations and settling it on that.

When he turned back to steve, his excitement and hesitance showed through his movements, melting Steve's heart. Steve approached him, laying his slender hands on the others waist as he felt larger, callused hands lay on his shoulders.

"You already know I've got two left feet when it comes to dancing, so don't get your hopes up too high..."

"Don't matter how you dance, as long as it's you."

The flutters in Steve's chest came back full force at that, his breath caught for a split second, luckily was able to recover before he ended up ruining to mood with a coughing fit.

The smooth jazz flowing through the radio speakers eased a calm silence over the two. The music was a similar mimic to the music playing at the bar, their slow sway a mimic to the would-be dance that Bucky refused to take with any of the dames looking his way. The only thing missing was the over crowded dance floor and the pushing and nudging they would have experienced from all sides had they been dancing there rather than in their lonely one bedroom flat.

Dancing together in their drafty apartment on that cold November night was better than every way he could have imagined it may have been in that crummy bar, and he wouldn't change it for the world.

The memories of many other times they've danced together began to trickle into his mind, filling him with warmth at the thought.

This was far from the first time they've done this, his furthest memory being when they were as young as five years old, six in Bucky's case, when they had seen Bucky's parents dancing together and Bucky insisted that they should try it.

Since then, it had become something they always did together, whether it was to lighten the mood, relieve stress, or just to have a little fun together, they always knew that they could do this together without worry.

Over the years, the more they danced, the better they got. At some point though, while Bucky continued getting better, Steve's progress had stopped all together, leaving him mediocre at best and a nuisance at worse. The only one who seemed to be able the tolerate Steve and his poor dancing was Bucky.

Over time, their dancing began to develop into a full on crush on Steve's part, making it hard for him to pull his love sick eyes away from his best friends face.

But they were just that- _f_ _riends_.

Steve shouldn't be feeling like this, it wasn't right, it wasn't fair to Bucky for Steve to continue on like this like it didn't mean anything to him, like it didn't make his heart clench and his stomach knot at their shared proximity.

Bucky, ever observant, must have noticed Steve getting lost in his spiraling thoughts, because he chose that moment to pull Steve back to reality with a spin in their dance, only making him a little dizzy. Okay, maybe very dizzy, but he would blame that on the alcohol for that one.

When he pulled Steve back to him, the two standing chest to chest, he asked softly, "You still with me, doll?"

Steve scoffed, "Where else would I be, jerk?"

"I dunno, Stevie, you seemed pretty lost to me." Bucky smirked as he twirled Steve through another spin, his pull back was a little too hard, making Steve trip over his own feet and collide into his dance partner on the return.

Steve huffed as he felt his face collide into Bucky's chest and hurting his nose from the force of the impact, however small that force may have been. When he pulled himself up, pushing against Bucky's solid form with his hands, he realized just how close the two were now.

Bucky was slightly stooped in a light crouch just in case he had to jump to catch Steve if he fell to the floor. His position only brought them closer, bringing them to about the same height, their faces were less than an inch apart from one another.  
At this angle, Steve could see the clouded look in Bucky's eyes, he could see the way his pupils dilated and grew larger. 

Bucky's eyes were a shining blue-grey, not that they showed much now, not with how large his pupils were, but Steve could never forget those eyes, not with how much time he spent looking into them, not with how much time he spent drawing the man time and time again.

"Steve?"

When Bucky spoke, Steve could feel his breath puff against his lips, the sensation filling him with longing for more, to take more than he should ever hope to have. His eyes trailed down Bucky's face and landed on his mouth. Steve had wanted to do nothing more than to kiss Bucky senseless every time he thought about that mouth.

"-teve?"

 _Getting lost in your head again, Rogers._ "What was that?"

"I was just- um... Can I-"

In Bucky's hesitance, Steve said softly and honestly, "Anything you want, Buck."

And he meant it. He would do anything for Bucky. 

But before he could dwell on that thought for too long he felt plush lips slip against his own.

He let out a gasp of both shock and arousal as a warm feeling spread over his body.

 _Bucky Was kissing him, Bucky was kissing_ him!

Maybe it was the alcohol or maybe it was a dream, but what ever it was he didn't want it to stop.

Before Steve could react to the kiss, Bucky was pulling away, repeating over and over again that he was _sorry I'm so sorry I shouldn't have done that-_

Steve's heart jumped at hearing what Bucky was saying, at hearing how heavy his voice was with guilt and regret. 

His brain screamed at him _NO NO NO DON'T GO!_

In his desperation to keep the kiss going, Steve rushed forward, trying to kiss back, and only succeeding in knocking their noses together.

They both pulled back with a hiss. Squeezing his eyes shut in pain, Steve held his nose, hoping it wouldn't bleed.

"Hey, hey let me check that."

He heard Bucky's soft guiding voice and opened his eyes. Bucky was standing straight now, his hand was hovering in front of Steve's face, as if hesitating, like he was waiting for permission to help him.

Bucky never hesitated to help him.

"Buck..."

"Please?" 

They both said nothing for a moment, standing silence and tension that was only broken when Steve removed his hand from his sore nose and tilted his head higher to give Bucky a better angle.

Bucky reached out and held Steve's chin, tilting his head this way and that, "'s no blood, just a little bruising, you'll be fine."

The way Bucky pulled back from him, the shy hesitance and aborted motions made Steve feel sick to his stomach. It was like Buck was scared to interact with him now.

"Buck-"

"I should go, I'm sorry, I shouldn't've-"

"Hey, Bucky-" 

"I don't know what I was thinking- it won't happen again-"

"Buck!"

At his shout the other man fell silent. 

"Buck, I'm not mad." 

"But how could you _not_ be?! After what I did-" he sounded desperate, his voice tugging hard on Steve's heartstrings. 

Steve approached Bucky cautiously, not wanting to startle him, "Buck, I'm not mad... I promise I'm not... If anything I'm actually kinda happy for it..."

"Happy?"

"Yeah, I mean, how could I not be?"

At this point the man had stopped moving away from him, and taking this as a good sign, Steve took both of Bucky's hands into his own, squeezing them firmly.

"If you wouldn't mind, I'd like to try it again?"

"God, yes." 

And at that they were back together, their lips meeting together softly, but quickly becoming rough and desperate. 

The feeling was over whelming to Steve, the sensation seemed to go on forever, drowning him in it.

After who knows how long, their lips finally parted, taking in hot puffs of air.

"Well, that was..." Bucky start but trailed off, at a loss for words, making Steve laugh, and no it wasn't a _g_ _iggle._

"Maybe it's time for bed, huh?"

"Yeah... Yeah I guess so."

After this whole fiasco, slipping under their thin blankets and huddling together felt like a blessing, especially when he felt a kiss be placed on the top of his blond head.

"Night, punk."

"Night, jerk."

\----

Once morning rolled around there was hell to pay for his lack of alcohol tolerance in the form of a piercing headache. Steve groaned at the pain, wishing he had just forgone the drink, the same wish he made everytime he drinks.

His sounds of pain must have woken his bed partner up, because there was a shift in the mattress, then a rumpled head of hair was shuffling higher up on the mattress from where he had shoved his face into the crook of Steve's neck.

When he looked down at the man's face, Steve had to do a double take, because there was one of the angriest looking bruises forming on Bucky's face than he had ever seen there before.

The sight of it actually brought up fits of laughter in his chest, startling Bucky awake with the suddenness of it.

His laughter only rising when Bucky exclaimed "Holy shit, Stevie, your face is all bruised up!"

The outcome was worth it, even if they both looked like a couple'a clowns.

**Author's Note:**

> I have a few others for this bingo in the works so hopefully I'll finish those before the year is over :)


End file.
